Thursday, January 17, 2008

This is crazy

If you are wondering why there is no more extraneous run data on here it is because I figure if you are actually here to see how often I run then you can flip through the nike+ post above.

While running today I was thinking about if I am doing this too often.  The whole working out thing.  It feels, sometimes, as if I am doing it too much.  I am still dropping weight since my old job location. I left there weighing in at 212 lbs and now I am at 203 lbs.  I am pleased with this progress. 

So there have been some genuine concerns brought up by my friends.  For example, You seem to be running a lot, is it an addiction?  In a way, maybe it is, it has increased the quality of my life.  I am feeling better about myself and it is beginning to reflect in other ways.  I am slowly building up a more positive self image, which is great, and I am finding ways to communicate with others in a positive way.  Being able to share something positive and interesting about myself, which can begin a conversation.

Another concern has been: "Are you doing this for the wrong reasons?"  Which reasons are those, you might ask?  Well, for starters, an obsession of self, a narcissistic attitude and an attempt to ignore the world at large.  Both are fair concerns, I have a lot of pride and I have a hard time hanging out with people.  I am finding, though, that the pride is different now.  Less on the physical me and more on the inside me.

Ignoring the world at large.  That is me to a t.  I like the solitude of running.  I like the fact that you do not need a team of runners to run, you can just run.  Still I long to belong to something bigger than me.

Running is doing good things to me.  It is soothing and it has psychological healing properties.  I like it.

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